Mending Broken Bonds
by 10percentsolution
Summary: The gap between the end of Mockingjay and the epilogue. Peeta isn't moving on in the way Katniss expected him to. They are both trying to move on. Will love perceiver?
1. I Hate You

I just joined and have very few stories. All kinds of feedback and anybody willing to review would be the best thing ever! I'm fairly young compared to most writers on this site so pointers would be greatly appreciated!  
Disclaimer: I will never, ever, ever own Katniss or Peeta.

The gap between the ending of Mockingjay and the epilogue.

The rebels won the war. We did. But at what cost?  
It doesn't change the fact that my sister and 1,679 other children are dead. What we did achieve though was freedom. Was it worth it? Would we have been better off living in fear? These are the questions I ask myself all day everyday. I used to think once The Hunger Games were over, everything would get better. Now I just have nightmares every night of all the people I've lost. The scary part about them is that even though I wake up screaming for Prim, or wake up locked in a closet, when I wake up I'm not afraid anymore. The same nightmares can haunt me for months and I will be huddled in a ball. Yet the part of me that used to fuel the fire in my soul to do what's right has been extinguished with all of this destruction. I no longer feel anything. Not hope, not sadness, nothing.

() () ()

It's been two months since I last saw Peeta. I had caught a glimpse of him kneading dough in district 12's small new bakery that was built mostly for him. I had been going to see the reconstruction of the Justice building, wondering why they were trying to make things better. He had flour on his face and his blue eyes were reflecting the sun's radiant glow. I started to realize what I had been thinking and immediately kept on moving.  
There is no point in trying to find the good in life.  
Is there?

() () ()

I woke up to the smell of food cooking downstairs. Assuming Greasy Sae had come to make me eat some food I trudged down the stairs into the kitchen where a bowl of lamb stew was waiting. I ate in silence with the drapes closed cutting off all light. After I ate, I made my way to the coat closet where I laced up my hunting boots and left the house to go hunt. I walked past the spot where I usually sneak under the fence and instead took the longest route possible before I decided that if I kept going any further it would be dark before I got back. I kept through the brush and picked up my bow and arrows. I managed to take down a few squirrels before deciding to head back to town. I dropped my bow in the usual place and made my way to the Hob.  
When I entered the Hob, all eyes glanced my way just like they always do whenever the 'Mockingjay' is out in public. I made my way over to Greasy Sae and handed her the game without a word. Finally I break down and speak  
"Thanks for the food today."

"Katniss... I didn't deliver any food today"

I just walked away without any further conversation. Part of me knew who brought me the food if it wasn't Greasy Sae but I didn't want to believe it. He can't care about me! He shouldn't care about me. I can't let him care about me! I run home and curl into a ball and cry.

"Why does he love me?"

I sobbed for who knows how long. I couldn't keep the thoughts away about how much pain I had caused him. How could he still care about me? I left him in the arena and The Capitol hijacked him. They took away the boy with the bread and it was my fault. The part of him that loved me was tampered with so much he thought of me as a threat. How he was able to overcome that...I will never understand. Peeta has so much courage and strength to keep fighting. He's broken and confused, yet he's making me food while I cry my eyes out. What does that make me?...  
It makes me a coward.  
Even though it's incredibly selfish I can't stand that after everything he's the strong one. I hate being so weak. So vulnerable and helpless. God, I hate him! I hate him for loving me, I hate him for being safe after the Capitol took him. I hate him for making me lamb stew. I hate him for moving on, and baking bread. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!

...I love him

() () ()

I had recoverd from my pity meltdown and slept.  
Dream, nightmares I couldn't distinguish the two. Peeta being killed by the mutts. Peeta kissing me on the beach.  
Peeta tossing me the bread.  
Peeta dying in the green fog.  
No matter what raced through my mind, the one thing in common was the ashy blond boy who saved me in every way a person can be saved.

I woke to a startling sound. Almost like glass breaking. I quickly walked down the steps, and in my living room discover three empty broken bottles of whiskey.

"Haymitch?" I call rather impulsively.

"Hey sweetheart"

The voice that responds isn't Haymitch. And I'm shocked to discover that the voice belongs to Peeta.

A/N: Should I continue? PLEASE read and REVIEW! If you do, I will write a one-shot for every review I get!  
Ps. The line  
'He saved me in every way a person can be saved' came from the movie Titanic.


	2. Realizations

**THANK YOU! Thank you to the first people that reviwed! I'm sooooo glad my story was even added to an alert and a favorite! But without any further adeui...**

"Peeta?" Thoughts race through my mind too quickly for me to process them.  
I step into the living room to find him huddled in the corner with his hands pulling at his blond locks.  
"Peeta?" I try again.

"I...I ddooon't remmmember, Katnissss" he manages to get out. I know that I have to do something but I don't want to. If he cares about me so much, I should not care about him. Those are our places right? He's the good one, I'm the cold and calculating one? Yet, even I can't bring myself to let him go through whatever he's going through alone.

"Shhhh, It's going to be okay" I try to say soothingly. I want nothing more than to scream insults to make him hate me. I restrain myself though, there will be time for that later.

"I...I had an episode thissss afternoon... I thought it was over, but apparently it wasn't. I started to lose control, so I went into the kitchen and tried to hold onto something, I saw the liquor I had for Haymitch...I hoped it would snap me out of it."  
I honestly didn't even form a thought. This was so unlike him. The Capitol changed him into god only knows what, when he has his attacks, but I didn't think this could even be his Hijacked self.

"How did you get here?" I ask

"I don't remember. I've been trying to give you space."  
So he loves me so much, but is staying away from me? God, why do I care? I try so hard not to. I think of Prim suddenly, and how she always loved the way Peeta frosted the cakes. She saw beauty in the hell we were living in. She's dead I remind myself. She's dead and it's your fault. I think for another moment. Well, I'm not really alive. Well, if I can't save myself, I owe it to Prim to save him.

"Peeta, come on let's get you home okay?"

I'm still trying to keep him alive.  
I approach him carefully and touch his shoulder. He flinches but soon relaxes. He lifts his head and I lose myself in his blue eyes. I realize all my hate towards him is me hating what I did to him. He deserves my help at the least.

"I'm soo sorry Katniss, I didn't think about what I was doing. Just don't tell Haymitch okay? I don't want to open Pandora's Box."  
I smile for the first time in over two months.

"Okay, Peeta just don't scare me again."  
"Agreed." He chuckles.  
I walk him home and he apologizes again. I open the front door to his home and the sound of running water is present. I walk into the kitchen to discover broken bowls, plates, chairs and the words 'mutt' and 'not real' spelled in various foods all over the walls and floor.  
"Well, looks like I made a mountain out of a mole hill, doesn't it?  
Peeta. That self-deprecating humor I've always admired.

"I'll clean it up, you get to bed." I bet it would have sounded a lot more convincing if I didn't have tears in my eyes. I couldn't hold myself together any longer. My glue was thinning, and I was starting to peel.  
"Katniss... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. I don't want to hurt you any more, please forgive me."

"It's not what you did Peeta. It's what you and I both didn't do...I..I can't"  
I ran away without another word. I ran to the meadow, somewhere I knew I would be safe and free. I was worried about what Peeta might take away from what I said, but now I just focused on never letting go of the people I care about. I let Prim down. I tried to kill myself for it. It wasn't worth it. I need to help myself. I need to help Peeta. I lie down and take deep breaths. My hand reaches into my pocket and my fingers rub against the pearl that lives there. Unfortunately memories consume me and I end up running home and adding a page to my book. I look at the last page, It's Peeta's page. I added it when I thought he was never coming back to me. I start a new page. I write for an hour and when I'm finally finished I add a title.  
'Katniss Everdeen'.

**I hope I was clear with the ending of this chapter. I think it would be fun to see all the interperretations. Let me know if you want me to write anything differently, or where you want this story to go! Please REVIEW! The more reviews, the more I write!**


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